I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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