whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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