I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
