Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
