Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
