The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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