I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
