I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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