I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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