there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All I want is dick and wine.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
