Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
