She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
