Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
