his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
