So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
