just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
