I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
