were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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