How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
