I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
