I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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