Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
