he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
