what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
