Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
organizing the empties. That sober.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
