just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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