i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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