I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
