She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
