so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
