I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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