I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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