Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I die, sorry about rent.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
