What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize