So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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