We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
