i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
