I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
