You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
