Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
