He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
