There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
