My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
