so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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