Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
