No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
this beer tastes like vomit already
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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