its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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