so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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