Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
