Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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