That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
