hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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