My balls are so social today.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Everclear isn't food dammit
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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