i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
