I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
