So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
