Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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