He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
