Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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