How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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