just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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