You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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