Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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