I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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