Hey man sorry I got all grabby
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
