My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
