I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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