I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
